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How the Beer Industrial Complex Controls Politics
It’s very simple. The Global Beer Industrial Complex controls politicians with money. Now, certainly our Beer Overlords have many other subtle ways to control us all, such as via the influence of alcohol, which goes straight to the brain and makes us feel happy and then makes its way to the liver where it slowly works on killing us. However, with politicians money generally does the trick. Don’t believe us? Good for you! One should always be skeptical when it comes to conspiracy theories.
But… Here’s some evidence: According to the Wine Industry Network Advisor “...the Alcohol industry shows more than $237 million spent on campaign contributions and lobbying over the past two election cycles.” WIN Advisor attributes the information to a report called “Politics Under the Influence”, produced by Tom Wark of Wark Communications. He seems like a reputable enough fellow to produce such an article. The report covers the alcohol industry’s contributions to politics on a state and federal level from 2017 to 2020.
Unsurprisingly, to us anyway, was the fact that liquor wholesalers alone accounted for $55 million in the last 4 years alone. That’s almost double what all the rest of the US liquor industry spent on buying politicians in that time frame. These are the middlemen of the Beer Industrial Complex. Not the breweries or the bars or liquor stores, but the guys in the middle. The guys who most states mandate as the only ones who can buy from the breweries and then resell to the retail outlets, who then sell it to us so we can enjoy the fermented fruits of their labors.
What is surprising to us is the fact that most of that money went to politicians supportive of Trump. As a reminder, Trump is famously dry, in that he apparently doesn’t drink alcohol, ever. This may be why the industry chose to influence those politicos with money instead of a triple hopped IPA. More interestingly, is that they seem to have failed, at least on the federal level, to control the uppermost offices of government. Joe Biden is also known to be a teetotaller and therefore not obviously in the pocket of our Beer Overlords.
Does this indicate a waning influence of the Global Beer Industrial Complex? Or are they hard at work in more subtle ways? Hold my beer while I figure it all out… On second thought, maybe I’ll drink that beer now and ask you to hold the empty can while I go grab another out of the fridge. I feel like it’s all about to come into focus and start making sense… Any moment now… Just let me drink on this for a while… Cheers!
Beer Conspiracy Video
We're not sure who this guy is, but he's on to something.
Please spread the word. Let everyone know, but make sure they know it's a secret that nobody is supposed to know.
Oh, and be careful!
You never know who's watching you or how much beer they've had to drink, or how much you will need to drink in order to forget they exist.
The Beer Conspiracy
We believe that the Beer (and other Liquor) companies are a crucial part of the New World Order Conspiracy... probably...
They are systematically keeping the Free World drunk, or at least buzzed enough so that we won't pay attention to or worry about their other diabolical plans.
Everywhere you look, even on TV, there are ads for beer and other alcoholic drinks. Everywhere. You probably even have some beer advertising in your home. A PBR t-shirt, or a Budweiser key chain. Maybe a collection of beer steins on the mantle. You have become a part of the conspiracy that allows these huge multinational conglomerates to keep selling the only legal addictive drug in the free world (other than nicotine... and caffeine, but those are entirely different conspiracies and someone else will have to build those websites).
Alcohol kills more people each year than war! (We are Not suggesting that anyone should give up either.)
Don't get us wrong, we aren't suggesting that alcohol be banned. Prohibition didn't work in the past and it won't work any better today. We like a nice cold beer as much as the next person, but we'd rather drink our own homebrew, untouched by greedy corporate hands! (Except, of course, for when we are out of homebrew, which we usually are... because we don't actually brew any ourselves, though, we know people who do, or so they have told us.)
We present here articles of interest that prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that there's something that doesn't smell quite right in the International Beer Industrial Complex, headquartered in Bavaria, or maybe Belgium. Read them for yourself and you decide if you are going to continue playing right into their hands when you're crying into your beer, or if it's time to take back your beer and drink it!