trump,

  •  Trump signs steel and aluminum tariff

     Once again the Tyrant-elect of the USA has decided, in his infinite lack of wisdom, to hurt the working man.  Tariffs on steel and aluminum will increase prices for everything made from those metals.  Yes, this means beer cans!  It will likely add thousands to the production costs for every beer producer, big and small across the land.

    This action clearly shows that Trump is not working for our Beer Overlords, but against them, and also that we'd be better off if he knuckled under and did as he was told, like every president before him.  The Beer Overlords control most of our lives and they do it well.  In mostly benevolent fashion.  Clearly, most of us prefer to live life partly under their influence than wholly at war with them.  Otherwise, we wouldn't drink, would we?

    Even in Montana, the small beer producers are concerned about the impact this will have on their bottom line.

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    Beer controls the world and Epstein didn't kill himself. The best, funniest, and truest meme of the year. It's clear that while Epstein didn't kill himself, nobody can be sure who did. Was it the Clintons? Was it Trump or one of his supporters? Maybe it was one of the other rich powerful men who paid for access to teenage girls. There's likely a variety of people who wanted to silence Epstein. We may never find out who did it, but if we don't keep asking, we'll never find out.

    This is a doozy of a conspiracy and you can bet that the Global Beer Industrial Complex has its fingerprints all over this one. At the very least we need to look at the facts, follow the money trail, and keep asking questions over a nice cold beer until some new information floats to the top, like a nice head of foam. Let us know if you figure it out.  We'll go into hiding immediately because these guys are not the kind to go down without taking a few witnesses with them.

    Notice how all the women who have come forward with allegations against Epstein have very carefully avoided saying who the other men were that they slept with or implicated only relatively powerless men, like Prince Andrew. The girls who slept with the really powerful men have been bought off, threatened, or worse.  They disappeared like Ghislaine Maxwell.  Is she in hiding someplace or was she made to disappear... permanently? This may be one of those conspiracies that nobody really wants to unravel.

    So, we're gonna have another beer and pretend we don't know anything about it... Cheers!

  • politics shmolitics I vote for beer

    It’s very simple. The Global Beer Industrial Complex controls politicians with money. Now, certainly our Beer Overlords have many other subtle ways to control us all, such as via the influence of alcohol, which goes straight to the brain and makes us feel happy and then makes its way to the liver where it slowly works on killing us. However, with politicians money generally does the trick. Don’t believe us? Good for you! One should always be skeptical when it comes to conspiracy theories. 

    But… Here’s some evidence: According to the Wine Industry Network Advisor “...the Alcohol industry shows more than $237 million spent on campaign contributions and lobbying over the past two election cycles.” WIN Advisor attributes the information to a report called “Politics Under the Influence”, produced by Tom Wark ofWark Communications. He seems like a reputable enough fellow to produce such an article. The report covers the alcohol industry’s contributions to politics on a state and federal level from 2017 to 2020.

    Unsurprisingly, to us anyway, was the fact that liquor wholesalers alone accounted for $55 million in the last 4 years alone. That’s almost double what all the rest of the US liquor industry spent on buying politicians in that time frame. These are the middlemen of the Beer Industrial Complex. Not the breweries or the bars or liquor stores, but the guys in the middle. The guys who most states mandate as the only ones who can buy from the breweries and then resell to the retail outlets, who then sell it to us so we can enjoy the fermented fruits of their labors.

    What is surprising to us is the fact that most of that money went to politicians supportive of Trump. As a reminder, Trump is famously dry, in that he apparently doesn’t drink alcohol, ever. This may be why the industry chose to influence those politicos with money instead of a triple hopped IPA. More interestingly, is that they seem to have failed, at least on the federal level, to control the uppermost offices of government. Joe Biden is also known to be a teetotaller and therefore not obviously in the pocket of our Beer Overlords.

    Does this indicate a waning influence of the Global Beer Industrial Complex? Or are they hard at work in more subtle ways? Hold my beer while I figure it all out… On second thought, maybe I’ll drink that beer now and ask you to hold the empty can while I go grab another out of the fridge. I feel like it’s all about to come into focus and start making sense… Any moment now… Just let me drink on this for a while… Cheers!